Was It

Mid-August, and the darkness at the break of dawn has already changed gears. Everything molecular is in motion, but not one whiff of that is us, not one dreamy scintillation. It’s just what flashes into being like late summer lightning in the dark immensity of sky. It vibrates at its own ecstatic frequency, while simultaneously dissolving back into itself without remainder. That is, no trace is left to mark its journey. Was it even there?

Just so, as we perceive it from the third dimensional human’s angle of vision, time has some linear elaboration, allowing for the appearances and disappearances of objects, which are actually solidified thoughts. It all begins as a thought.

Thoughts arise in the midst of deep space, aware space, with the ethereal fluidity of a wisp of gas. In the time it takes to turn one’s gaze from left to right, the dynamic vibration grows denser until everything down to its atomic structure seems pressed and packed together, creating the appearance of some concrete solidity — the “objective world”.

That virtual appearance by nature is a transitory and non-binding modification, or impersonal play, of light, verbally designated as energy, manifesting itself perpetually as consciousness, the same consciousness which is living us now, as this intelligence, this luminosity, this vitality, and of which everything is an infinitely morphing expression, imbued with inexhaustible radiance — an unconditional love beyond the human intellect’s comprehension. Only the heart knows, when it recognizes itself as that, as love itself.

Our surrender to that is the triumph, yet we have only surrendered to our own Self. The extent of our resistance to such divinity merely serves to demonstrate the range of flavors of our own suffering, compounded in perpetuity by the latent power of a reinforced ignorance which spawns and fosters the illusions of lack, dis-ease, doubt, and separation.

The persistent delusions of “me and mine”, “here and there”, “now and then” align to form a momentary platform, a make-believe stage on which the improvised persona can bob and weave, smile and weep, in costumes beyond number.

For today’s dramatic configuration, we are seated on such a stage in the chair of the Host, all the while still imagining we are the Guest. The conversation proceeds at pace, though not a word is said. Instead, there is a pulsing sense of presence, so intimate that it is not even noticed at first, except perhaps as a subtle thread of feeling, the feeling of simple being itself. When attention becomes absorbed in this feeling, there may come an ignition. Host and Guest change places. Then the stage itself falls away. Was it even there?

Category Error

When I hear various preachers and philosophical speculators denying free will, it occurs to me that they are invariably committing a “Category Error”. They are conflating the conditioned body-mind-self vehicle (the persona) with immortal Spirit. Spirit is our true nature and identity. Spirit is always exercising free will. Spirit is the Self of “Self-Realization”, animating all the temporary vehicles, living all as infinite expressions of Divine Love.

Thus, when we say “Thy Will Be Done”, it is That will, the Creative, of which we are indivisible. We are both creator and creation, gamer and game, although in this realm, this duality density, that is a true challenge to recognize and then master.

From a certain angle of vision, beyond the common materialistic human one derived from insufficient information about the nature of What Is, this is also a free will zone, compounding the degree of difficulty (which is attractive to players like us, otherwise we wouldn’t be here). This intrinsic design makes it appealing as a virtual training ground for certain souls who wish to expand greatly in Self-Awareness, due to its degree of difficulty.

Spirit is a Sport, a Player, as Sri Niz noted, and likes to play in forms galore. In this particular play, we’re on an undercover mission from ourselves, for ourselves, and that includes all selves, since all selves are one Self, and we are That.

In the Spirit World, only 1% of souls or less actually ever take a physical incarnation, as I was told by a Spirit Guide, and so just getting a body to be here now is an accomplishment akin to winning a lottery. It does seem a shame to not take advantage of this exceedingly rare opportunity to expand and evolve, though many neglect to do so (by choices made once fused with the human vehicle, choices with consequences).

Art by Casey Weldon